


Beautifully Broken

by theplushfrog



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Ending, Complete, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-16
Updated: 2008-08-16
Packaged: 2017-11-13 23:03:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theplushfrog/pseuds/theplushfrog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the only way to deal with things is to find your other half.. Except sometimes your other half is actually two thirds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven.

_How does a mother deal with the sudden disappearance of an only son?_  Sora wondered. Probably badly—and not helped by the random forgetting of said son. The remembering of the son would probably be worse than the original disappearance because of the guilt and confusion involved.

Sora frowned at the doorstep to his home, wondering what lay beyond.

Keyblade Master, Savior of Worlds, Friend of many but only close to so few, Sora frowned and took a deep breath before pressing in the small button that would sound the door chime throughout the small island home.

\--

"Kairi?"

"Yes, Sora?"

"Can I stay at your place for a bit?"

\--

Kairi paused in her organization of the textbooks on the shelf. Work always came second to Her Boys. The redhead patted her brown storeclerk vest absently as she turned to look at those eyes so full of ocean and stars—but currently wavering near tears.

"Please?" His voice hitched in the middle of the word, making it more pleading than he probably meant it.

Kairi held her hands clasped in front of her—a habit she had picked up in Her Boys' absence to control her worries. "Of course you can, but—Why?"

Sora didn't answer, although he did seem to relax at her agreement that he could stay with her, but his eyes dropped to the floor—not a good sign for Sora.

"Did something happen?" She asked softly. Unspoken questions filled the air between them.

The brunet meekly raised his eyes, blue eyes meeting her violet ones. "I… I can't sleep there."

Kairi frowned slightly in understanding. "The Darkness," She whispered, not a question, but an answer to one.

Sora didn't nod, but they both knew she was right.

\--

Sora's household was always in uproar nowadays.

His mother would do nothing but needlessly cling to the boy. His father would do little less but get angry at pointless things.

More often than not, Sora was grounded—or at least, told to stay home for a number of reasons: "Your mother needs you," "Could you fix the pipes?" "Dad was hoping to spend some time with you today," "Help your mother cook dinner," "Sit with us for a little while, your friends will be there tomorrow."

Sora understood.

He really did. But there's only so much a boy can take.

\--

Kairi didn't find it surprising that Sora would sneak out of his house to stay at her apartment each night—regardless of the pandemonium that would take place in the mornings his parents noticed him missing.

She grew used to leaving the window open so he could climb in. The petite girl didn't mind sharing her bed with a mass of lanky teenage boy. She didn't mind that his huge feet were cold, that he stole all the blankets, or even that sometimes he shook in his sleep so badly that her teeth would chatter from across the bed.

It took little more than a gentle touch from her to calm the quakes, but it scared her sometimes how he would still wake up with tears dried on his cheeks.

\--

Kairi had moved out of the Mayor's house during the time Sora had vanished from memory.

It wasn't out of disrespect for her adopted father, but after all she had been through, she couldn't sleep peacefully in that house anymore.

With the memories of her biological father's malicious deeds, her fuzzy memories of her adventures within Sora's Heart, and the lost of Riku behind the Door—all those memories weighing heavily on her mind, she rented an apartment with the money her adoptive (real) father lent her and money she got working at a bookshop.

It was quaint, but it was hers.

\--

Riku didn't ask to stay at her house. He didn't say anything about the dark rings around his eyes from lack of sleep.

One night, he just showed up and grudgingly crawled into the tangled mess of blankets that they shared.

Kairi found that she slept better with Riku and Sora both with her. Sora also seemed to be more alert and grinning wider (if impossible) now that Riku had joined them. The two of the them were relieved to see the shadows under Riku's eyes recede and his rare smiles become a little less rare.

Still, Riku shook harder than Sora ever did and it scared her sometimes that it took much more then a simple touch to calm them.

\--

They didn't talk about the nights they shared outside of Kairi's apartment.

Kairi wondered one day if that was because they were ashamed of needing comfort.

But she realized it wasn't that, what kept them silent was the knowledge that no one less on their small world would understand.

Although they hadn't told many, few that they had believed them. No one really understood what had happened to the three of them.

No one else realized that sometimes when Sora watched the sea, another image flickered over his.

No one else realized that when Riku shied away, it wasn't because he hated you—but because he was afraid of hurting anyone else, afraid that he couldn't trust himself anymore.

No one else realized that Kairi had taken up drawing, not out of sudden curiosity but out of necessarily. If she didn't capture each scene as it swept by, she was terrified the memory would be lost forever.

\--

None of them mentioned the quiet moments when Kairi would cling to both boys, sometimes painfully, as if to prove to herself that they were both really there and with her.

None of them mentioned the sobs that came from Riku's side of the bed, although both Sora and Kairi would offer wordless warmth and Light to escape from silver-haired boy's creeping Darkness.

None of them mentioned the night Sora woke in a bloodcurdling scream with keyblade in hand and eyes wild with nightmares.

None of them mentioned the time they spent afterward huddled together for comfort from Dark memories.

Twisted and tangled, interlocking limbs and painful grips on one another, none of them ever mentioned how necessary these nights became to keep their sanity intact.


	2. And you were with me, content with walking, so unaware of the world.

It was an accidental thing.

Sora, being such the loving, touchy-feely person that he was, placed a nice wet kiss on Kairi's cheek and another on Riku's.

Both the redhead and silverhead felt their faces flare up and burn red hot with a blush.

Sora grinned, oblivious to the silent exchange between his two closest friends.

\--

Missing nearly two years of school set Sora and Riku far behind much of their class, but with Kairi's tutoring and summer classes, the boys planned to be only a year behind their original class.

\--

Riku sat in the stiff wooden chair, waiting for the bell to tone and the class to start— _the quicker it starts the quicker he could leave_ —and feeling like he was the only one in the room.

Sora and Kairi weren't in this class with him, the silver-haired teen was alone in this familiar—but too unfamiliar—world filled with numbers and words.

He felt like he was watching the goings on of this world of learning through a thick window—untouchable behind it, but completely alone as well. Even as he listened to the idle chatter around him, Riku couldn't help but feel like they were speaking in an alien tongue.

The bell toned and class begun. Riku scribbled the useless information down and waited to see the only two others could understand.

\--

Kairi felt her face grow very hot with the flush that had overridden her features. "What?"

"The girls want to know which one of them you're dating, Kai." Selphie giggled to herself, "I bet its Sora. I've seen how he looks at you."

The redhead mumbled something to the ground, her face practically glowing with the heat of her embarrassment.

"What was that?" Quistis asked in a polite tone.

Violet eyes rose in fury, "I'm not dating anyone." She

Selphie opened her mouth to protest, but Rinoa grabbed her shoulders. "Selph, leave Kairi alone." The dark brunet patted the smaller girl on the head absently, "If she doesn't want to say, then she doesn't want to say."

The Princess of Heart frowned as the three other girls left the hallway.

\--

No one said things would be magically easier for them just because they were home now…

But, Sora felt that they should have. It just wasn't fair.

"This is  _impossible_." The brunet moaned as he thumped his forehead against the small table littered with pages of Pre-Calculus homework.

A hand touched his shoulder lightly and Sora nearly jumped two feet into the air. It took his mind all of two nanoseconds to realize his mother didn't have keyblade-formed calluses on her hands.

"Riku! Don't scare me like that!" Sora whined as he turned to face one of his closest friends.

Riku smiled without mirth, and the smaller Keyblade Master sobered immediately. "What's wrong, Riku?"

"Nothing," The green-eyed boy argued, but Sora always knew. He could feel it in his bones now—that was how much a part of them he was.

Forgetting the complicated math he had yet to finish, Sora threw his arms around the taller boy and held him tightly. "Riku, please," The words were pleading, but also comforting, like a wiggly puppy who wanted nothing more than for his owner to be happy.

Sora felt the more muscular arms wrap around his own thin body and the sharp chin dig into his scalp. The brunet could feel the way the Darker boy held himself so tightly so that he wouldn't shake, and Sora hated it.

"Riku…" He whispered, wishing he could make things better, that he could vanish the twisting guilt from the older boy's Heart.

They stayed like that for awhile, and afterward Riku laughed at Sora's inability to do math, as if nothing had happened at all.

\--

Kairi woke to a mess of tangled bodies.

It wasn't that strange, this was usually how things happened nowadays.

Yet… the redhead felt a blush wash over her face, staining her nose, ears, and chest with the soft red of blood pounding underneath the skin.

She removed herself from the pile, sitting on the edge of the bed and trying to calm her racing heart.

Still, when she glanced back from the doorway, she couldn't help but smile at the puppy-pile of limbs everywhere—wondering in her sleepy mind if it looked as silly when she was tangled up with them too.


	3. The same old heartbeat fills—the emptiness I have inside.

"He doesn't understand." Riku ground out.

Kairi shook her head slightly, but the silver-haired teen didn't confuse that for disagreement.

They sat on the old Papou Tree on the Play Island. It was a place of comfort in a world that held so little.

"He's smarter than you give him credit." The redhead argued weakly.

Riku snorted then paused—his green eyes stilling in shame. "I… I know that."

A small hand touched softly on the young man's arm. "Riku…" Violet eyes wished only for peace in the man's heart.

Riku lowered his eyes to the ocean below. "Sora jumps into things heart first. He's not stupid—he understands… just not the things we understand."

"Sora means only the best, but he doesn't think of the consequences sometimes." Kairi dipped her head in a nod.

They drifted off into silence—there was nothing more to say aloud that they needed to say.

\--

Sora didn't understand.

A week straight now, Riku had failed to turn up each night.

When he asked Kairi, she just shook her head and refused to look at him.

The Keyblade Master didn't know what to make of this reaction. It was strange to see the twist of embarrassment and shame flow across her face as she attempted to hide her emotions from him.

"SORA!" The teacher's voice rang out and Sora blinked owlishly at the front of the classroom. "I know you're not doing well in this class, so you had better pay more attention!"

Sora stood with his head ducked, nearly knocking over his chair in the process, "Sorry, sir. It won't happen again."

The teacher sighed and turned his back on the brunet. "Sit down. I know you'll be off daydreaming again in a few minutes."

Sora flopped down in his seat, resting his head on his hand, his mind going immediately back to his thoughts unbroken.

\--

Riku doesn't know how to deal with this.

He can't even trust his own thoughts anymore. Every moment of distraction gives way to more…  _images_. He tries hard to concentrate on each task—write this, eat that, move there, sit here—but behind his conscious mind he can feel those  _dreams_  on the edge, waiting to take over.

He avoids Sora and Kairi, but they seek him out, like arrows straight to the point.

Sora is the first to break from the small talk they fall into during school hours.

\--

"Riku, where have you been sleeping?"

"…At home."

"Why?"

\--

The question is posed in the most Sora way possible—the innocence and wonderment, leaking out into the very air. Riku leans back unconsciously from the sheer Light of it, but forces himself to straighten again.

He's not scared of the Light anymore. Nor of the Dark.

This is what he tells himself, anyway.

In truth, Riku avoids his two friends' eyes, letting his hair hide his face as he stares at the sidewalk on their way home from school.

For a long moment, Riku waits for Sora to badger him more, or Kairi to agree in wanting to know. He almost wants to tell them. He almost wants to relieve himself of any and all secrets he holds within—and maybe then he will be as carefree as Sora…

But… He wouldn't be able to stand the looks on their faces, the disgust in their eyes, the shame in his Heart.

Someone has to be careful and take all of the worries, so his friends can be happy and untroubled by the Worlds.

Riku startles at Kairi's voice, drawing him from his melodramatic thoughts.

"Sora, let Riku be. If he wants to sleep at home, he can sleep at home." She doesn't meet his eyes and for a moment his Heart sinks.

Of course… Kairi wants her bed back. It makes sense. She wants Sora and him to fix themselves so that she can start actually living her life again.

Green eyes suddenly meet purple and his thoughts are unwound, "But, you are  _always_  welcome. Know that Riku." Her voice said, but her eyes said  _Please come back_.

Riku's lips quirked up slightly. He should have known. Kairi's too selfless to want them gone.

The half-smile quickly drowns in a tight frown, as Riku is reminded of why he can't return to Kairi and Sora at night.

\--

Riku was out on the Play Island. Alone.

That by itself wasn't all that strange, Sora mused. It was that he was out during a storm.

Ever since That Night, Riku had been terrified of storms. Terrified of himself, terrified of the memories that would come back and their obvious lack of guilt during it all.

Sora watched him dangle his bare feet off the side of the Paopu Tree. Silver hair flows like a silent river within the dancing raindrops.

Riku really needs to cut his hair, Sora snorts to himself.

The Savior of Worlds tugs at his own clothes, already soaked from being pelted with rain all through his search for his missing friend. He figures it won't do anymore harm, and hops in, as to take a shortcut to Riku.

\--

"Riku," The silver-haired teen turns slowly, knowing who it is already. He caught the scent of Twilight and wide grins the moment Sora left the Main Island's shore.

"Sora," Riku greets him curtly, not in the mood for trivial small talk, "Why are you here?"

"For you." Comes the answer, which Riku should have known. Sora plops his sea-soaked self down on the branch beside his friend.

Riku doesn't say anything else. He stares up into the rain, regardless of the blindfold he has covering his eyes.

Sora fiddles, twitches, and finally can't contain himself any longer. "Riku? What's wrong? Is it something I did? Because if it is, you don't need to snub Kairi too, you know." Ocean blue eyes watch his every movement, tight with worry and care for his friend.

Riku can't help but laugh. No chuckle or snort, but a deep laugh that rings out over the  _shhhhhhh_  of the rain. When he quiets, he shakes his head and says "You have done nothing wrong, Sora, you idiot."

Sora pulls his mouth into a pout—although he would refute any attempt to call it that—and his piercing eyes continue to study Riku's face, straying onto to the blindfold many times. "Then what?"

The Darker boy sighs. It is a deep sigh of compassion but also of annoyance. There is the slightest shake to it that tips off his nervousness.

"I…" Riku pauses, struggling to find words, "I'm in love with Kairi."

Sora pauses. His whole body holds still for a breath, as if someone had taken him out of the world with a pause button.

Riku doesn't think, but leans in and touches his lips to Sora's.

Sora comes alive with a fury, as if touched by hot iron—his hands delve into Riku's thick hair as Riku fiddles with his brunet spikes. Sora's chapped lips move against Riku's, pausing here and there to add teeth to the mix. Every part of the boy seems to embrace and pull Riku closer, tighter, until neither can think or do anything but move on instinct. Sora's mouth opens to Riku's tongue and each boy is startled by a guttural moan between them.

They spring apart. They stare wide eyed and pant in harmony with one another.

"W-what—I mean—who?—wait, what?—I…" Sora is the start to blink and before his brows can knit together in confusion, Riku is gone.


	4. The worst is over now and we can breathe again.

"Stupid stupid stupid stupid!" Riku chants between pants as he runs.

Suddenly the ground punches him in the face—all the air has been knocked out of his lungs.

Riku jerks to his back, sucking in a lungful of air as he stares at Sora's determined expression.

_Nothing makes sense anymore._

Way to Dawn is instantly at hand and Riku lunges.

Oathkeeper meets him halfway and they pause, their eyes connecting over the screech of metal against metal.

Riku snaps backwards, only to jerk his Keyblade up as Sora's is slammed down.

Metal snaps together and apart, with an explosion of sparks into the deafening rain.

For each step Riku takes back, Sora moves forward.

Riku fakes to the right then whips to the left, legs tensed to bolt, but a quick movement of Sora's and Riku is slammed to the ground.

With a movement like a snake's strike, Sora darts in and rips off Riku's blindfold, whipping it off to the side onto the rain-darkened beach.

The Darker teen springs back up with a growl, but is forced backwards as the True Keyblade Master throws himself into a fury.

They meet evenly again with a clash of mythical weapons and with lightning quickness Sora steals his lips to Riku's for the space of a second.

Riku falters for a moment and his shoulder pays for it. The Oathkeeper collides into his shoulder and he's sure something is going to hurt tomorrow—but as soon as his mind touches on thought, it snaps back into instinct.

Knocking away another hit, Riku swings, but his arm isn't as fast when injured and Sora gets in a blow right to his ribs.

Riku's back smashes into the wet sand, sinking in slightly as Sora leans a knee into his gut. Way to Dawn is all but slicing into his own throat, held there by the furious strength behind the Oathkeeper.

They struggle against each other for a time, both with gritted teeth and eyes like nails.

Eyes meet and thoughts fight for a moment.

" _What do you want?_ " Riku's voice strikes out viciously over the blare of the rain.

Sora stills. Riku shoves against the Oathkeeper, but it is held strong.

"I…" When the brunet meets his eyes against, eyes like oceans are full of emotions Riku cannot even begin to name. "I want  _you_."

The words, even full of the innocence that is Sora, send a shiver down Riku's spine that has nothing to do with his cold, rain-soaked clothes.

Sora continues, unperturbed, "I want Kairi. I want you  _both_." Oceans of eyes well up with sorrow, guilt, and even a touch of shame. "Why can't I have that? Why is that so  _goddamn_  hard?"

No longer restrained by Keyblades, Riku closes the space now-empty between them and presses a kiss into Sora's lips like fire to a starved soul.

Rough, chapped, and unyielding lips, teeth, and tongue, the two boys forget all else—that is until Sora presses a hand to Riku's bared stomach and an electric jolt goes through both of them.

The Darker boy throws them over and pins Sora under him, without breaking the half-strangling kiss.

He runs his hands through the brunet's impossible locks, pulling him closer as Sora's hands run all over his chest—the parts with shirt and the parts without.

An unearthly groan shocks Riku, as it is his throat it comes from.

Sora falls back to the sand with a wet squish, he laughs breathlessly.

One look at his friend's flushed face, and bruised lips, and Riku laughs too.

\--

Kairi watches Her Boys walk together, hands clasped, under the pelting rain.

They walk to her doorstep, where she stands, and glance at their hands.

Riku makes to tug his hand out of Sora's, but Sora holds it tight and instead holds out his other hand to her.

Kairi smiles.

\--

They are connected, now and forever.

— _Tangled limbs and silver hair knotted with auburn locks and brunet spikes—_

In Heart, in Body, in Soul.

— _Paopu split into thirds, tasting it on each other's tongue after_ —

As it always was meant to be.

— _Hand in hand, toward the next adventure_ —

\--

**Fin,**

For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> " _The worst is over now and we can breathe again. I want to hold you high and steal my pain away._
> 
>  _There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight. I want to hold you high and steal your pain._ "
> 
> -"Broken" by Seether


End file.
